Priorities
by Lynnlee22
Summary: AU Dinah/Hart
1. Chapter 1

The guilt was overwhelming, but Hart Jessup couldn't push the doubts from his mind. Every time he looked at her—every time he stared into those big, blue eyes, he felt the familiar questions begin to return. Even now, even as he held her in his arms, he couldn't focus on how beautiful she was. He found himself scrutinizing her features. Was this his nose? Did she have his eyes? Dinah's eyes were brown and his were green. Rose's were blue.

Her nose, a cute, tiny button in the middle of a perfectly beautiful face looked nothing like his. It reminded him nothing of Dinah's either. He wanted to trust her. He wanted more than anything to believe that his wife wouldn't lie to him…not about this…not about a child. She knew how much a family meant to him and she wouldn't lie about that, would she?

The questions answered themselves when he thought more about it. Once you lie one time, it becomes easier to lie again. She'd lied to him many times before, and just when he thought they'd reached a good place—just when he believed that that were happily married, she'd admitted the affair. Now, he couldn't help but wonder…was the beautiful child in his arms really his or was she a product of that affair?

 ** _Three Years Later…_**

Sometimes, especially on nights like this, she still thought about it. She tried not to, to keep herself occupied, to keep her mind focused on other things, to keep that night as far from her thoughts as possible, but on quiet nights, the thoughts crept into her thoughts like an unwelcome guest.

Even years later, she could hear the words they spoke, and the anger behind them. She could replay them in her hand word for word as if they had been said only moments earlier.

"Tell _me the truth! Is she mine?" Hart screamed, his attempt at remaining calm now only a distant memory. Try as he might, he couldn't live with the doubts anymore. It wasn't fair—not to him, not to Dinah, and certainly not to Rose. He was keeping a baby at arm's length…afraid of getting too attached, afraid that he'd fall so completely in love with her that when and if the truth came out, it would absolutely kill him._

 _The tears streamed down her face as his words seemed to physically shake her. This was the question she'd hoped he never asked. The same question she asked herself over and over again. Rose—her beautiful baby girl—might not be his, and yet, she wanted to believe she was…if only believing it and wanting it badly enough could make it true._

 _"I don't know," she admitted sadly. Her affair with Garrison had been a mistake, one she wished she could go back and change. She didn't go out looking for another man. She had a wonderful man, a loving man and he was at home—waiting for her._

 _In her heart, she knew why it had happened. She knew why she walked into the bar that night, why she pulled up a stool next to the well dressed business man and smiled as he offered to buy the next round. She was afraid…afraid of being happy…afraid of being loved…afraid of having a life that she didn't believe she deserved. After the first night, she felt out of control…like she'd started something she had no idea how to stop, and when she did, when she finally told Garrison that she simply couldn't do it anymore, it was too late. She found out she was pregnant four weeks later._

 _"What do you mean you don't know!" Hart screamed again, raking his hand across his face. He was angry—angry at her for lying to him, angry at her for cheating at him, angry at her for ruining the chance they had at a happy family. Most of all though, he was angry that he couldn't get past this…that he couldn't say that it didn't matter….because he knew it did._

 _It was as if she read his mind. "Does it matter?" she asked, her words cutting through him. "Say we get a test and find out for sure…what if she's not your biological child…will you love her less?"_

 _Hart stared at her. No—he wouldn't love her less and he knew it. He loved Rose with everything in him. He'd fallen in love with her from the moment he'd first heard her heartbeat, but he didn't think he could live with this….not with this big of a lie…not with this much betrayal._

 _"I need to know," Hart managed, his voice cracking slightly. "If she's not my daughter then I…I don't think we…."_

 _Dinah shook her head, swallowing hard and refusing to lose it in front of him. "Then go," she said, taking a deep breath. "Because if you're staying for her…it's not going to work, it can't." She turned her back then, feeling the tears begin to fall. She didn't want him to see her fall apart. The next sound she heard was the door closing._

* * *

The sound of a door now jarred her from her memories. She stood, glancing towards the stairs behind her. Rose was asleep and had been for hours. Dinah stood and headed up the stairs. No doubt her precocious toddler would have an entertaining excuse for being up at this hour.

* * *

She could feel their eyes on her as she sat in the chair. Her throat ached from screaming yet she refused the cup of hot tea the female officer held out to her.

Clutching the pale pink blanket tightly, she took a shaky breath. Rose couldn't sleep without her blanket. She needed it. She needed to be home. She needed her mother and her mother needed her.

Gathering every ounce of her strength, she pushed her body out of the chair. Heads turned towards her.

"Can I get you something ma'am?" a young officer asked.

Dinah stared at him. 'My daughter,' she thought bitterly, but she knew better. Someone had taken her child and it was taking every ounce of her being not to completely fall apart.

"No," she responded after hesitating a moment. She picked up her cell phone. "I just need to make a phone call."

Her fingers shook as they hovered over the numbers. It had been almost three years since they'd spoke and even longer since she'd seen him and still she knew the numbers without a thought.

* * *

"Damn." Hart slammed the plastic tray down on the counter top, quickly running his hand under water. If he didn't die from radiation poisoning courtesy of all the microwave dinners, the steam burns should leave permanent scars, he thought to himself.

The sound of his cell vibrating on the counter was surprising. He didn't give out his number often, mostly only to family back home and no one would call this late unless...

Swallowing hard he grabbed the phone and pressed it to his ear. "Hello?"

The mere sound of his voice brought the tears back again. "Hart," she managed, her voice shaking.

He froze. So many thoughts rushed into his mind at once. The sound of her voice was bittersweet, bringing a flood of memories with it-both good and bad. In the same instant, he knew something was wrong. Very wrong.

"Dinah," he said quietly, lowering himself into the chair at the counter. "What's wrong?"

She closed her eyes breathing deeply. He always knew her better than anyone. Even over the phone, even without laying an eye on her, he could hear it in her voice.

"It's Rose." She took another breath, barely able to bring herself to say the next words, as if somehow saying them made it real-as if it wasn't real enough already.

Hart felt his heart begin to beat faster. Rose haunted him. Every day he wondered if he did the right thing by walking away, but he convinced himself that he couldn't have lived with the lies.

Somehow, right now, those lies didn't seem all that important.

"What about her? Is she sick?". He waited for a moment. The only reply was soft sobs.

"Damnit Dinah! What is it?"

She summoned all her courage, breathing deeply before speaking into the phone, "Rose has been kidnapped."


	2. Chapter 2

He jerked the wheel hard to the right, the bright headlights blinding him for a moment. It would have been better to fly-safer and probably quicker, but he couldn't. He couldn't stand the thought of sitting on a plane-of having time to think-to wonder-to fear.

Her voice...he could still hear it echoing in his mind. The way she'd said his name and the words-the ones that seemed to grip his heart and not let go.

"Rose has been kidnapped."

There were so many questions. So many things he wanted to know, but he hadn't asked. Something in him told him not to. Dinah's voice was breaking and he could hear the desperation-the complete and total surrender in her tone. Dinah had always been stubborn and she'd go to any lengths to hide her vulnerabilty.

Tonight, there had been none of that...no games...no agendas. Just fear.

His eyes fell on the familiar exit sign as he allowed his foot to ease off the gas. He had no idea what he'd find when he reached Springfield, but he was certain he wanted to get there as soon as possible.

"Miss Marler?" the female detective called her name out again.

"Yes," Dinah responded, her mind barely registering the fact that her name had been called. She shook her head. "I'm sorry...I..." Her hand trembled as she rand it over her face. Her ears still rang with the sounds of her own screams. Someone had taken her baby...from her room. And where was she? Where was she when she should have been protecting her? She was downstairs-feeling sorry for herself...drowning in the sorrow that she had created.

"We just need to ask you a few questions. The sooner you can give us the information, the better the chances are that we can bring your daughter home."

"Right," Dinah breathed, steadying herself. "Right...Of course. What do you need to know?"

The detective opened the small notebook, readying her pen for notes. "So, you were downstairs all night?"

"Yes, I was. I uh...I put Rose down at about 8:30 and I came downstairs.." She watched the officer scribble some notes and she followed her gaze as her eyes fell on the half empty wine bottle.

"Have you been drinking, Ms. Marler?"

"I had a glass...maybe two...I usually do at night after I put Rose to bed." She felt the tears sting at her eyes. "I'm sorry...I don't understand what that has to do with anything."

The detective sat up straight. "Ms. Marler, I understand you recently went through a divorce?"

"Yes," she said quietly. "I did. The divorce was finalized a few months ago."

"That must be difficult...being a single parent...going through a divorce..."

She felt rage well up within her. It wasn't enough that someone had her daughter. Now, this woman...a person that should be looking for her was somehow trying to blame her for this. "How dare you..." she began her voice shaking. "I adore Rose...I would never...EVER!"

"What the hell is going on here?"

Hart slammed the door behind him pushing past the officer who tried to stop him.

"Hart?," she whispered, her tone a mix of relief and gratitude. "She's gone."

He nodded, his eyes meeting hers for a moment as he watched the composure she'd been struggling to maintain crumble before his eyes. He didn't think-it didn't matter. None of it-the lies-the angry words-the divorce...The only thing that mattered was the little girl, the one he'd loved with his whole heart whether she shared his DNA or not.

Gently he gathered her in his arms and let her head rest against his chest. He looked up at the female detective who stood behind them.

"I'm sure you can give us a few minutes, can't you?"

The detective nodded as she stepped out of the room.

* * *

His arms were still wrapped around her as he stepped towards the couch and sat beside her. It was instinct to want to stop her pain-to want to make everything better, but he couldn't do that now.

"Dinah," he said softly, leaning back ever so slightly so he could see her face. "What happened. Tell me what happened."

"I don't know," she whispered, her voice broken and shaking. "She was upstairs...she was asleep. I had the monitor, Hart, I did...I had the monitor..." She crumbled again in front of him and he felt his own eyes begin to sting.

"Ok," he whispered, reaching up to rub her shoulders, trying desperately to comfort her in the only way he knew how. "It's okay...this isn't your fault. Do you hear me?"

She looked up at him, her eyes red and swollen, her face streaked with tears. "I was supposed to take care of her...I was right here...Someone took her with me right here..."

"Ms. Marler," the female detective appeared behind them again.

Hart glared up at her, his expression warning her in advance of her words.

Dinah stood to face her with Hart beside her, his arm wrapped protectively around her shoulder. "Yes," she whispered desperately. "Do you know anything? Is there anything?"

"No maam. I'm sorry. We need to see Rose's room. Can you take us there, please?"

Dinah nodded turning back to Hart for a moment. "I'll be back in a minute," she whispered.

His hand reached for hers as she stepped away. "I'll come with you," he said quietly, his heart aching as he saw the relief on her face.

The guilt was nothing new, but he'd come to forgive himself for leaving...finally determining that he was justified in his anger and feelings of betrayal, but tonight-seeing her like this-so broken, so terrified...none of it seemed to be worth it. If he'd been here...if he'd been protecting them the way he should've been...would it be different. Would Rose still be here?

His thoughts consumed him as they climbed the stairs, his breath catching in his throat as the door to the room opened in front of him.

The walls were a pale pink, the soft light of a dragonfly lamp cast shadows across the bed. The toddler bed was rumpled, the sheets pulled down, a small pink bunny lay on the floor.

Hart walked into the room.

"I'll have to ask you not to touch anything, sir.," the detective said quietly. "We've got to dust for prints."

Hart nodded walking over to the table, his eyes falling on the picture frame.

Dinah followed his gaze, knowing what he saw.

He turned around, his eyes already asking the question.

"I didn't know what to tell her...when you left...she was too little to know but now she can ask...She sees things at playgroup...and she has questions. I just wanted her to have something...someone.."

It was as if his heart had been ripped from his chest. The thought of this little girl, looking at a picture of him...conjuring up images and dreams of what her father might be like, it destroyed him. It reminded him of his own childhood-of the nights he too would lay in bed and dream of what his own father would be like.

"She thinks I'm her father," he asked quietly, still unable to meet her gaze.

"You're all she's ever known," she responded.

"And she doesn't me at all..." His voice trailed off as his eyes found the frame again. "I left...and she doesn't know me...

They never tell you about the silence. That's never shown in the movies or tv shows. You always see the detectives, the social workers, the police officers analyzing every shred of evidence, but you never see what happens next. What happens when they've all done their job and you're left with a a detective to monitor your phone lines and a patrol car outside...and the silence.

Hart walked into the room, retracing the same path he'd taken nearly twenty times in the past hour. "You want some tea?"

"No," Dinah said quietly. Her throat felt dry and thick. She couldn't imagine trying to swallow anything. She couldn't imagine making herself more comfortable when she had no idea what her daughter might be going through.

"What about something to eat? I could make you something...a sandwich..some soup..whatever you want." He looked at her, his eyes pleading. He needed to do something...anything. Never before had he felt some completely and totally helpless.

"I don't want anything. Just sit. Just sit down. I can't watch you pace like that. You're making me crazy."

"Sorry," he sighed, running his hands across his face and through his hair. "I just..I don't know what to do here. I need to do something. I need to feel like I'm doing something instead of just sitting here staring at some damn walls." He could hear his voice getting louder and the anger was welling up inside him. He was angry that someone had come into this house and taken Rose. He was angry that everyone had just walked out as if the crisis had passed, but more than anything, he was angry at himself for ever having walked away in the first place.

His daughter...He stopped, thinking for a moment... "Shouldn't you call him?"

Dinah turned, looking at him. "Call who?"

The knot in his throat grew larger. The idea of saying his name made the bile rise up within him. "Garrison," he said quietly. "I mean...if there's a chance Rose..."

She shut her eyes tight then shook her head. "She's not..." Tears burned her eyes and her breath caught in her throat. She'd made such a mess out of this and now, at the worse possible moment, she had to be honest.

Turning towards him, she clenched her hands together. "I called Garrison after you left to tell him about Rose. He told me...after his first marriage."

Hart stared, waiting for her to finish... "What?"

"Garrison had a vasectomy, Hart. He can't have children."

* * *

She finally stood after taking all she could of the silence. Hart stood, his back to her, holding a picture of Rose in his hands.

She took a few, hesitant steps and quietly spoke. "You have every right to be angry with me."

Still silent, he turned to face her-his green eyes cutting straight into her soul. "I'm..."

He stopped. He didn't know what he was. He had been there from the moment Dinah told him about the pregnancy. He'd been a part of it all-gone to every doctor visit, felt the kicks, talked for days on end about names and nursery plans. He'd been there in the delivery room-been the first to touch her perfect little hand as he cut the cord. Still, it wasn't enough. He'd walked away...from his daughter.

When Dinah told him the truth, about the affair, he remembered feeling as if he'd been punched in the gut. The exact moment the realization hit him was still as clear and vivid in his mind as if it had happened moments ago. Walking over to the bassinet and picking up the beautiful baby girl-realizing, for the first time, she might be another man's child. He had wanted her to be his-prayed she was-tried to force himself to believe it, but he couldn't.

Now his prayers had been answered. His dream had come true, but he couldn't wrap his arms around his little girl.

"What did you tell her about me?" he managed finally. "About me not being here..."

Dinah nodded. "At first she was too little..you know. She didn't know that anything was different but this last year or so...it's been..." Her voice grew softer and she looked at him. The pain and regret in his eyes was evident. She knew that guilt and she wouldn't wish it on her worst enemy.

"She started asking about her Daddy and that's when I gave her the picture. I told her you had to be away one right now. That's really it. It's been enough for now and I've just been hoping she didn't ask." She smiled a little as she thought, "She says goodnight to the picture every night and sometimes she kisses it."

His heart hurt as he listened. So many nights he had stared at the ceiling gripping a picture of her in his hand. So many times he'd walked outside, staring into the sky and praying she was safe and happy. So many times he'd picked up the phone, sometimes even dialing a few numbers before chickening out and hanging up.

So many regrets.

He sighed heavily as he pulled the blanket up over her. Sheer exhaustion had finally taken over mere moments ago and Dinah was, for the first time since he'd arrived that evening, seemingly peaceful.

The police had assured them both that everything possible was being done to find Rose. There were officers posted outside the house and all the phone lines were monitored. Getting some rest was the best thing they could do for their daughter right now.

But he couldn't rest. He couldn't close his eyes because all he saw when he did was the face of the daughter he abandoned. It hadn't mattered that he thought Rose was another man's child. From the moment he heard she was in danger, nothing mattered except bringing her home safe.

Now he knew the truth...the truth that was so damn important. The truth that mattered enough for him to leave his wife and child.

"No...No...Rose!" Dinah screamed, her arms reaching out as she struggled to sit up on the couch.

Hart closed the distance between them in seconds. "Dinah-it's ok. It's fine. It's just a dream." He watched as she gained clarity, her dark eyes staring into his.

"It's not a dream," she whispered, her voice breaking as fresh tears began to fall down her face. "My baby is still gone. My God Hart, what if..."

"Don't think like that." He couldn't allow her to say the words-as if the uttering of the sounds and syllables together might make the possibility more real. It wasn't as if he hadn't thought about it. He knew these stories didn't always end well. Kids didn't always come home. Families weren't always reunited, but this time it had to end well. If not for him, for her. Dinah had been through enough. She didn't deserve this.

"You're not going to lose, Rose," he said, looking into her eyes intently.

She nodded, her hands still shaking as tried desperately to believe him.

"Listen to me." He took her hands in his, applying gentle, reassuring pressure. "It's not going to happen. We are not going to lose our daughter."


	3. Chapter 3

Rose slept soundly on the twin bed. There had been only a few tears and those had quieted rather quickly thanks to a rerun of Doc McStuffins airing on the hotel room tv.

The thought of calling the house tonight had been considered but quickly abandoned. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Someone said that and they were absolutely right. This was a goodwill mission-a gesture of friendship, but it was also a way to show everyone just how lucky they were...and just how quickly it could all be gone.

The hours seemed to crawl by, each one seemed even more endless than the last. Twice more Dinah had screamed out, her nightmares jolting her awake to an all too similar reality. He had held her finally, feeling her breathing slow as she drifted back to sleep. It hadn't been difficult to return to this role-protecting her, comforting her, loving her. That was never the issue. It was his pride-his ego-his inability to forgive.

The knock on the door startled him and his quick movement immediately woke her.

"What is it?" she asked, standing and smoothing her clothes. "Is it Rose?"

Two officers stood in the doorway. "We're sorry to come out so early, but we wanted to ask you a few more questions if that's alright, Ms. Marler."

Dinah shook her head. "That detective was in there all night. You said we were waiting for a phone call but no one called." She could hear her voice growing more insistent, but she felt powerless to controlling the feelings that welled up inside her.

"Why didn't they call?! You said they'd call. You said..."

She felt his arms wrap around her as he pulled her towards him. "Hey," he whispered into her ear. "They said they had questions. Maybe we can do something to help."

Her eyes met his for a moment and she stilled, gesturing into the room.

"What do you need to know?"

The detective looked at her, her expression softer than it had been moments before. "As you mentioned, there hasn't been any contact yet. Now that isn't to say there won't be, but it also doesn't mean we sit around and wait. These early hours are critical with missing person cases-especially missing children. In all likelihood the kidnapper hasn't been able to move much, so there's a good chance they are still within the area. That's why we'd like to get the pictures out as soon as possible. Can you get us some recent photographs of your daughter?"

"Yes. I have an album." She pointed over to a shelf and watched as Hart stood and picked up the leather book.

"Also," the detective continued, "what can you tell us about your daughter's routines...the things she likes to do..where does she like to go...what does she like to eat?"

Hart watched as Dinah's eyes welled up. "I don't understand how that helps you," he questioned. "I mean-do you really have to ask these questions?"

"I understand the questions are difficult and this all must seem terribly insensitive but in cases with young children, kidnappers are not interested in harming the victims. In fact, many times they go out of their way to ensure the child is comfortable. Knowing the types of things Rose might want or need may well give us the best chance to locate her."

"The horses," Dinah said quietly, her fragile voice shaking as she spoke.

"Horses?" The detective questioned?

"The carousel horses in the park...she loves them. She begs me to take her almost every day." She felt tears begin to stream down her face as she remembered promising to take her that day. "She loves the one with the pink hair. She calls her Princess. She wants to ride by herself, but I won't let her because I'm afraid she'll fall, but now...now I can't protect her at all."

"You're really quiet," Dinah said finally. "You've barely said a word since the detectives left."

"Sorry..I just...that was intense."

"It's been almost two hours."

Hart looked up at the clock, his eyes stunned to see the hands sitting past noon. "Lunch." He stood. "Let me make you something...you've barely eaten anything."

"Hart. Please stop this."

"You have to eat. You're not going to do Rose any good if you go and get sick because you refused to take care of yourself."

"You know that's not what I mean. Something's bothering you. Talk to me."

"You mean something other than the fact that my daughter is missing?! Is that not enough?!" His words were harsh and his anger at himself and the entire situation suddenly seemed directed at her.

She flinched, hurt for a moment but then summoning her own rage. "I guess I just didn't think this would effect you that much-seeing that you chose to walk away from Rose years ago. Not having her in your life should be old hat for you, No?!"

The instant the words fell from her lips, she regretted them, though she knew the sentiment was coming from someplace real. "Hart," she said softly, "I...I shouldn't have said that."

It was like a slap in the face and the sweetest relief all at once. Her words were painful, but they were the very thing he'd been dreading the most since he walked through that door. He deserved that and she deserved the chance to say it.


End file.
